Summer, Love, etc…

My friends often comment: how can you do so many things?

Another comment I often get: we cannot follow where you are, you move too much.

Both comments are actually right. I do many things and I move around a lot. World is not big enough, of course, and day has not enough hours to do everything I would like to. This mindset is the best prescription for a burnout and, as a “stress management expert”, I know it more than well.

So how do I do it without burning out? First, I will be honest, one month ago I was nearly burn out and “even me” I ended up one afternoon at the doctor's office. My stress was the emotional one, going through a major life change and even if I was aware that I was depleting myself, I could not help but not sleep, not eat and cry a lot. How often do we KNOW what we have to do yet we don’t? But this moment of being depleted brought me back to the basics: to sleep, eat, relax. I tried. I failed. I did not stop.

My car accident (here) did it for me. The emotional shock was such that I just got back home and slept for 18 hours.

I still continue to do a lot of things and I still continue to move. But I consciously SLOW DOWN whatever I do during the day. I move slowly. I eat slowly. I walk slowly. And the more stress and “emergency” I feel inside, the more I slow down.

Why? Because slowing down our body helps us to slow down our mind and be more focus and precise. So we actually do more things in less time.

I also consciously breathe, not only in my morning or evening yoga practice, but also when I wait for the train, when I wait for my coffee or when I am stuck in a traffic jam.

Slowing down give us the chance to have the clarity of view on the events around us and also to connect with our own thoughts, emotions, perceptions and needs.

This clarity gives us the possibility to say NO more often, with no guilt, and with soft heart. Saying NO more often gives us space, time and resources for ourselves, for our own purpose.

The crucial skill is to SIMPLIFY our life, not only by getting less material stuff, but also by stopping judging the situation from our wishes’ perspective and seeing the reality how it is (this is THE SUBJECT that is very dear to me and I write a lot about). The major stress in our life comes from fighting what IS in order to get it how we want it to be. What to say, I just spent 3 months observing it in myself and my surroundings. We get so upset, frustrated, disappointed, sad, angry… when things are not going as we want them to go. This is like pushing against a wall. It makes us tired, depleted and frustrated even more. There is a moment when we have to accept and let go of our belief about how the life is supposed to be, how others are supposed to be, how our job is supposed to be…

So I suggest that during this summer time, we all slow down and simplify our days. It will bring more perspective, energy, clarity and inner peace to us and those who surround us. It does not prevent us from “doing” or “moving”, but it gives us time and space also for “being”.

Try this:

1. Make time for yourself. Whatever happens. No negotiable.

You might be working or spending holidays in family, it does not matter. You will always have stuff to do and your to-do list will not change a lot from the normal year, because family time is as demanding as job time or school time. So find time just for yourself (yes, I wake up at the latest at 6 AM just to have my alone time).

If you have a chance, take a few days just for yourself.

2. Sleep more.

Or at least go to the bed earlier. I know, days are long, light is beautiful… but try to relax in the evening time and cut some of your family functions and dinners and wine… You will see your energy boost after a few days.

3. Cut down the technology on a regular basis.

Last 3 months I was less present on social medias for personal reasons and I even discovered a place without 3G! (Green Normandy project). It was like heaven to stay 3 days without any technology. True internet detox. The effect was amazing. Try and let me know (no smartphone for 72 hours!!!)

4. Eat slowly.

I would even suggest to go veggie for 3 days or one week (you can try our program S.O.S. Detox or check my recipes), cut the sugar and white flour, and chew really very slowly. Eat in silence, focus on the taste, take your time and enjoy to nourish yourself. It will also impact your relationship with yourself: self-respect, self-love, self-confidence.

5. Simplify

Do you really need to visit one more museum, go to the beach early so you have a good spot, push your kids to more activities and “make the most” of your holidays? What if instead of making “the most” you make “less”? Less is the new black. Go for less, but with full power of your mind.

6. Cultivate gratitude and compassion

During the summer time we often spend more time with our family, partners, parents… there are not better people to trigger our deep fears and insecurities than our loved ones. So be compassionate with them and with yourself. Cultivate the gratitude for having the chance to be with them and heal.

I also know those who would love to spend time with their family yet they can’t. I am as well in hesitation when my summer “family” holidays are actually not really happening, and I have to say I miss this family time deeply. So my tip for this women (and men) who cannot be with their kids, with their partners, or with their parents anymore, is thinly one: send love from your heart wherever you are, wherever they are. Love is the energy that can reach without limits, without borders, without time and space.

Don’t forget to send LOVE to yourself. You deserve it.